Act 1: Bobby Briggs visits Ben Horne in his office, where Ben has piled furniture and artifacts into a tower. Ben, still dishevelled and unshaven, tells Bobby he listened to the tape and asks what Bobby wants. Ben gives Bobby a camera and tells him to follow Hank Jennings and chronicle his activities. As Bobby leaves Ben’s office, the newly-wed Mrs. Milford runs screaming through the hallway.
Cooper examines photographs of two properties and tells the real estate agent that he’d like to see both. When the agent asks which he’d like to see first, Cooper flips a coin that lands on a photo of a different property, Dead Dog Farm, described by the agent as a puzzle - no one ever stays there long. Cooper decides he wants to see that one. Dick enters the sheriff’s office and meets Andy, Lucy, and Judy Swain, Nicky’s case manager with Happy Helping Hands. Judy tells them Nicky has been confused and traumatized by persistent random misfortunes that include the deaths of both his parents under mysterious circumstances. They are interrupted by Truman, who calls to Andy to accompany him to an emergency at the Great Northern.
In his room at the Great Northern, Dougie Milford lies dead in bed, attended by Dr. Hayward, who tells Truman and Andy that it looks like a heart attack. Dougie’s body is surrounded by sex manuals, love poems, and a box of sex toys. Dwayne Milford enters and grieves over his brother. As he leaves the room, he shouts accusations at Dougie’s widow, who sits outside the room. She tells Hawk that she’s cursed, that it started in high school when her date kissed her and locked his braces so that he had to go to the emergency room, where they broke his jaw to free it. Hawk tries to impress her with unsuccessful results.
In the Twin Peaks High School gym the coach encourages the wrestling team to accept Nadine. He has her wrestle Mike Nelson, whom she easily beats while asking him to go out with her.
Act 2: At Donna’s locker Mike asks Donna to help him to discourage Nadine.
At the Marsh house, James sorts tools in his room above the garage. The chauffeur, Malcolm Sloan, introduces himself as Evelyn’s brother. Malcolm, a heavy drinker, tells James that Jeffrey regularly beats Evelyn and that she perpetuates the cycle by trying to get even by breaking Jeffrey’s things.
At Dead Dog Farm, which Irene, the real estate agent, describes as an old legend - of all the people in the world the best and the worst are drawn to Dead Dog and only those wity purity of heart can feel it’s pain. Cooper notices tracks made by three vehicles: a jeep, a 4-wheeler, and a luxury sedan. The door to the house is open and Cooper says there’s been a meeting here within the past few hours. He finds residue of baby laxative in the sink and cocaine on a chair. He tells Irene they have to notify the sheriff.
Dick is seated next to the front right wheel of his jacked-up car with tools and an instruction manual; he’s slowly changing the tire while Nicky plays with the steering wheel and horn. After Dick orders Nicky from the car, and while Nicky is standing looking away from the car, the car slips off it's jack. Nicky gets upset and asks if Dick’s going to die.
In his office Truman introduces Col. Reilly to Cooper as the head of an Air Force investigation into Major Briggs’ disappearance. The Colonel asks Cooper if he noticed any wildlife in the area and Cooper tells him he heard an owl moments before Briggs vanished. Truman urges the Colonel to level with them and Cooper tells him they know about the monitoring and the messages from deep space pertaining to Cooper. Reilly says the monitors are pointing at space but that the messages originated within the woods. Cooper asks about the White Lodge and Reilly says, “that’s classified.” He tells them Garland Briggs was the best pilot he’s ever known and that his disappearance has implications that “go so far beyond national security the cold war seems like a case of the sniffles.”
In the garage James starts the car and tells Evelyn the engine is fine and the axle should be ok. When Evelyn asks how he got so good with cars, James tells her about Ed. James refers to his talk with Malcolm and She tells James to mind his own business. They kiss. James asks Evelyn if she’s afraid and why she doesn’t leave Jeffrey. Their second kiss is interrupted by Jeffrey’s return home. As she leaves to meet Jeffrey, Evelyn tells James it’s not as bad as she made it out to be.
Act 3: Audrey intercepts Bobby on his return to Ben’s office. He tells her he’s on the payroll and asks her to celebrate with him. Audrey says they should do business together. She ducks away when he attempts to kiss her. As Bobby enters the office, Audrey enters a hidden doorway. In the office, Ben, wearing a Confederate Army coat, is constructing a model of Gettysburg on his desk. Bobby gives Ben pictures of Hank as Audrey listens from a secret room. Ben opens the envelope and is pleased. He gives Bobby some cash and tells him to come back tomorrow to discuss a full-time position.
6:25 p.m. - Catherine and Pete have a candlelight dinner with champagne. Pete recites part of Yeats’ “A Drinking Song.” Catherine asks Josie to serve the appetizer and reminds her to wear her maid’s cap. When Pete complains about Catherine’s treatment of Josie, Catherine tells him Josie had a hand in Andrew’s death and had done everything she could to destroy her.
In his room Cooper dictates to Diane an observation that a nationally distributed newspaper has printed his opening move in the personal column, but that he already received Earle’s reply, that Earle anticipated Cooper’s response perfectly. Cooper says he’s looking into real estate and discovering secrets that may be connected to his problems with the bureau. Audrey enters and shows Cooper the photographs that she’s stolen from her father’s office. The pictures show Hank, Ernie, Jean Renault and Sergeant King outside of Dead Dog Farm. Cooper tells Audrey she may have saved his life. Denise enters and hugs Cooper. Cooper introduces DEA Agent Deni se Bryson to Audrey, who says she didn’t know they had women agents. Audrey kisses Cooper and leaves. After Cooper shows the pictures to Denise and gives him the cocaine found at the site, Denise wants to know about Audrey. When Cooper says he didn’t think Denise was still interested in girls, Denise says, “I may be wearing a dress, but I still pull my panties on one leg at a time...”
Ed sits at the counter of the RR and toys with a piece of pie. Norma approaches and asks about his problems. Ed talks about plans not meaning as much as you grow up and Norma takes his hand and suggests they can make new plans. Hank observes.
Act 4: Night, thunderstorm in progress, Dick arrives at the sheriff’s station, ignores Lucy and seeks out Andy. Dick tells Andy they have a problem, that Nicky may be the devil or homicidal in the first degree. He tells Andy they have to find out what happened to Nicky’s parents. Dr. Hayward takes an autopsy report into Truman’s office, were Dwayne Milford sits, and tells them that Dougie died of a heart attack with no evidence of foul play. Dwayne tells Truman he’ll sue Milford’s widow to make sure she doesn’t get Dougie’s money. As Dwayne leaves, Hawk is standing in the doorway to the conference room with Mrs. Milford, who is dressed in a very short, but black dress. Hawk asks Truman if he still has that bottle of Irish in his office - he wants to put some in warm milk for her. Dick, Andy, Truman, and Dr. Hayward all stand in the hallway admiring Mrs. Milford as Lucy walks away annoyed. When Lucy returns to answer a call for Truman, she’s unable to find him. She opens the door to the conference room and find all the men gathered around the widow laughing at her stories. Lucy gets very upset when she sees how charmed Andy is by the widow and slams the door.
Denise enters the Double RR and sits at the booth where Ernie is eating. She shows him the photographs and her badge. She tells him he’s guilty of parole violation and has to cooperate or go back to prison for a long time.
In Cooper’s room Cooper and Denise question Ernie, who tries to avoid cooperation, but Denise insists that she will set up a meeting with a major drug buyer. When Ernie asks who the major drug buyer is, Denise says, “You’re looking at him.” Ernie acts ill.
In his room James hears shouting and sounds of fighting from the main house. Malcolm enters and tells James Evelyn made him promise four years ago not to interfere, but swears he’ll kill Jeffrey one day.
At the Briggs house Bobby talks with his mother while the storm is in progress. Bobby recalls the Major’s dream about Bobby. The lights go out. The Major appears suddenly in the house and asks how long he’s been gone. When Betty tells him two days, he says it seems much shorter. He embraces her, tells Bobby to put out his cigarette, and asks Bobby to fix him a strong cocktail. When Mrs. Briggs asks Garland is everything's all right, he says “no.”
Notes: Mädchen Amick does not appear in this episode despite being listed in the credits.
Timeline: Friday, March 17th
Original Air Date: January 12th, 1991
Official Episode Number: #2012
Nielson Rating: Unknown
Directed By: Caleb Deschanel
Written By: Harley Peyton and Robert Engels
Kyle MacLachlan ... Special Agent Dale Cooper
Michael Ontkean ... Sheriff Harry S. Truman
Dana Ashbrook ... Bobby Briggs
Richard Beymer ... Benjamin Horne
Lara Flynn Boyle ... Donna Hayward
Sherilyn Fenn ... Audrey Horne
Warren Frost ... Dr. Will Hayward
Peggy Lipton ... Norma Jennings
James Marshall ... James Hurley
Everett McGill ... Big Ed Hurley
Jack Nance ... Pete Martell
Kimmy Robertson ... Lucy Moran
Joan Chen ... Jocelyn "Josie" Packard
Piper Laurie ... Catherine Martell
Harry Goaz ... Deputy Andy Brennan
Michael Horse ... Deputy Tommy 'Hawk' Hill
Ian Buchanan ... Dick Tremayne
James Booth ... Ernie Niles
David Duchovny ... DEA Agent Dennis / Denise Bryson
Robyn Lively ... Lana Budding Milford
Tony Burton ... Colonel Riley
Wendy Robie ... Nadine Hurley
Don S. Davis ... Major Garland Briggs (as Don Davis)
Charlotte Stewart ... Betty Briggs
Tony Jay ... Dougie Milford
Gary Hershberger ... Mike Nelson
Annette McCarthy ... Evelyn Marsh
Nicholas Love ... Malcolm Sloan
Ron Taylor ... Coach Wingate
John Apicella ... Jeffrey Marsh
John Boylan ... Mayor Dwayne Milford
Joshua Harris ... Nicholas 'Little Nicky' Needleman
Geraldine Keams ... Irene Littlehorse
Molly Shannon ... Judy Swain
Mädchen Amick ... Shelly Johnson (credit only)
Our Rating: C-
Thoughts: This episode has a relaxed and confident quality that nearly disguises the fact that not much is in fact happening. Nearly. Director Caleb Deschanel tries to infuse some atmosphere with a thunderstorm and some handsome camerawork, however, this only really works in the final scene with the return of the Major. Why does Pete no longer care for the wellbeing of Josie? It's also nice to know that some of the kids in Twin Peaks are still interested in attending school! In the end, too much slapstick and uninteresting plot lines leaves us stranded (like Dick and Little Nicky) in the proverbial woods.